Taking Breaks When Homeschooling

You’re exhausted and overwhelmed. Your house is in chaos. Your kids are whiny, resistant, bored, or out of conrol. You’re at the brink of panic or a breakdown. Sound familiar? What should you do?

Not everyone will agree with me, but I’m here to tell you that you can take a break. And not just a day or two, but a long break.

My Family’s Long Break

The year was 2020. The COVID-19 pandemic had just hit the West Coast in full force and our state was in lockdown. Activities and playdates were canceled. Fear was rampant. Then, my new neighbors sued us. I won’t get into details because they don’t matter anymore, but it was nasty, terrifying, and made me sick with panic and dread. I could barely get through the day, let alone teach anything.

My kids were still pretty little, barely 6 and almost 5. However, this situation and stress lasted years, and then it took me about a year to recover after we moved. So, it wasn’t until the summer of 2023, when my kids were just barely 8 and 9 ½, that we started up anything formal again.

You read that correctly. We didn’t do anything educational for 3 years; my kids did nothing but play during that time. We didn’t even play any board games. (I was lucky in that my kids were early readers, so they were already reading independently.) We didn’t do any unit studies. We were barely surviving.

It’s a few years later now, and at 10 and 12, my kids are thriving. They’re still avid readers, both about a year “ahead” in math, and working on middle and high school level in science and history. We needed that break, and my kids needed that playtime. The three-year break was really good for all of us, but especially my kids.

What did they do during that time? They played. I don’t remember much from then, but they had toys and would play together. They played outside when we felt it was safe enough. When in-person activities started opening up again, I took them to playdates.

So, how do you recover from burnout?

The reality is that no one can pour from an empty cup. We, as parents, have to take care of ourselves in order to take care of our kids. And when we’re tapped out, we’re not the best parents we can be. So that’s my first recommendation: self-care.

If your kids are old enough to play unsupervised, you might be able to just let them go play. If they’re not, reach out to your community and see if anyone would be willing to watch your kids for a bit. A friend of mine had my kids over on a really bad day and it was so helpful. If that’s not a possibility, set your kids up somewhere they can play somewhat independently and take a breath.

Everyone rests and recovers differently. If you don’t know what works best for you, now is a great time to figure that out. Maybe it’s taking in a favorite show, video game, or book. Often, it needs to be something you have already done, rather than something new. Maybe it’s crafting, baking, or running. Outdoor time helps everyone; can you take your kids on a walk or a hike?

Once you are feeling a bit better within your own skin, I would tackle your day-to-day next. If your house is a mess (and that’s stressing you out), choose one room or even just one portion of a room to get organized. You might find that in between cleaning days, you need to revisit your self-care recovery days. That’s okay. Depending on your level of stress, this can take a while.

A good next step is creating a loose routine. This might be mealtimes and bedtimes. Maybe rather than specific times, it’s just an order you do things in. Routines can help our bodies feel more secure, and can help our kids, too.

You are now feeling calmer, your space is the way you like it, and your day flows in a way that works for you. Next up: your relationship with your kids. Try to find some one-on-one time with each of your kids. If you’re a single parent without much of a support network or with a lot of kids, this might take some more creativity.

Can you read to each child independently before bed? Maybe one child gets up extra early and can crawl in your bed for some early-morning cuddles. If any of your kids are still napping, you can utilize this time. If you have teens, maybe sit down and play a video game with them. The important thing is to connect with each child in a way they will appreciate.

But what about their education?!?

I promise you, kids (and adults!) are always learning. When we take breaks and practice self-care, we are teaching our children the importance of looking after ourselves. We are teaching them that we, as caregivers, matter. And by extension, we’re teaching them how to take care of themselves, too. My kids don’t remember much from this time, but I hope they internalized the importance of caring for oneself.

Another benefit of taking a long break is that kids learn faster, easier, and better when they’re older and more developed. Not to mention that no one can learn anything when they’re stressed. And if you’re stressed, your kids are, too.

The formal academics will still be there after your break. And even if your kids are older, what’s the worst that could happen? They spend a couple extra years with you and don’t graduate until they’re 20. Would that really be such a bad thing? Many young adults aren’t moving out of their parents’ houses until later in their 20s anyway.

Take that break. Rest, recover, and reorganize. You’ll all be the better for it.